Alien on the Planet Three Stooges

I am the lone female in my house. Okay, if you count the dog, there are two of us. If we are counting the dog, we then have to count the two cats so that means there are two females to five males. I often joke that I am an alien on the Planet Three Stooges, and I am waiting to be rescued.

I have learned a lot living with males. For example, to the male mind, putting something away means adding it to the already large stack of things that over time, had also been asked to be put away. In their mind, job done. Clutter doesn't seem to bother them. Also, putting dishes in the sink counts as putting them in the dishwasher since the dishwasher is right next to the sink. They don't see well, either. They never notice the large pile of laundry, the food items left on the counter or the empty trash cans at the curb. They also miss things like keys, remotes, cell phones and IPods. Remotes are their lifelines - whether it is to the television or video game if it is missing, chaos ensues. They like to eat pizza, Chinese food and cereal...a lot.

They make weird noises and think it is funny. The youngest one when he was age 4 was proud he could burp the alphabet. My God, he could burp the alphabet!


They also seem to like to get undressed as they move through a house. You can find a sock in one room, a shirt in another and the other sock in a third room. And let's not even start on their shoes.

Being the only female poses challenges. If for example, I am working on a jewelry design and want some input, these really are not the people to ask. They usually provide their pat answer, "Looks fine" without even looking at the item. They are good sports about some things. They tolerate having bouquets of flowers throughout the house and especially like it when I try to be creative in the kitchen.

They are handy to have around at times. They can lift heavy items, program the DVR and fix things. I am sure there are other good things about them but my focus is on that stack of laundry, dishes in the sink and items all over the island. Can I get back to you on that?